Taylor Swift! N-words! One Direction! More N-words! No, this isn’t a conversation with your racist 12-year-old cousin, it’s a SNEAK PEEK of tonight’s show. Share it with your friends and tune in to Comedy Central tonight at 10:30 to see who else Jeff is gonna roast.
HAPPY BURN-DAY JAKE GYLLENHAAL
On Brokeback Mountain he learned to suck dick & ride horses… and he’s all out of horses. The uglier Gyllenhaal sister who f*cked Heath Ledger harder than Xanax turns 32 today, which incidentally is the same number of drunken voicemails he’ll leave Taylor Swift tonight. From The Day After Tomorrow to Brothers to Prince Of Persia, Jake has had the unique ability to make moviegoers go to other movies. So Happy Burn-Day Jake Gyllenhaal! Chances are it won’t be nearly as good as Tobey Maguire’s.